my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
