Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
