How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
