he puts the penis in happiness.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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