would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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