im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
