i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
