There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
