I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
