Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
