I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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