is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
