now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
