The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
