Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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