I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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