Whod you bang
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
