Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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