wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
