I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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