Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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