you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
