ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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