its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize