He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
