I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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