you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
