I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
