he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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