Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She's just so happy...and so naked.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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