be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
