Whod you bang
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
