it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My feet surprised me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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