I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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