just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Come see our sink grown plant.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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