why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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