Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
