Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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