he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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