Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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