: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
