i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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