How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
