So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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