My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
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He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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