No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
