Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
