thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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