Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
