you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
