wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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