The maid of honor just puked.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
