look no pants
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
home. puking in laundry basket.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
As shirtless as possible
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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