she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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