I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My liver just had a heart attack.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
we're so committed to being not committed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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