scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
