**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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