OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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