I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
