I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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