Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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