whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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