Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
