By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
